today I'll tell you some good news, cause not everything in my life sucks ;)

I told you earlier about my boyfriend, E.. well, his mom is pregnant =D there's just one little thing: my boyfriend is 18, his brother 23.. so.. his mother isn't very young anymore.. we on ly know it for a week now, but she's allready 6 months pregnant! and she didn't know! and now, my honey is getting a sweet little sister =D it almost feels like I'm pregnant myself.. I mean.. I'm almost old enough and it's very close family to me and I wanna have a baby myself about a couple of years.. at first I have to study ofcourse, but it'll be a good practice ;)

I'm curious how she'd look like.. about 3 months I'll know ;) I'm so happy! =D

And today the story ended.. he called me, finally, but he called.. he wanted to talk.. and he turned to be a complete asshole.. and now I"m wandering why I felt for his eyes, his lies!

I'm such a fool!

nobody understands anymore... you go girl...

well.. it started a few weeks ago...

"my friends likes you, you know.. he wants to meet you!"  oh... I allready had a boyfriend (let's call him E), but still I went to that friend, M.. he was a nice guy, I've seen him before, he was kinda cute.. at least, that was what I remembered.. a week later he came to my place for a movie.. but he didn't come for the movie.. and still nothing happend.. the next day I went to his place, I lied to my parents for him ( I was with a good friend) and later that night we kissed.. I liked him, a lot, and all I could think about was his beautiful smil and his beautiful eyes.. oh I could drown in his eyes! when I was with my boyfriend I thought about him and when I kissed my boyfriend I could swear I tasted M's lips! we never had sex, and I don't know if I regret that, I only know that my boyfriend had enough of it and I had to make a choise: quit with M or lose E.. the day after I told M I had to choose, he sented me a message, he quited before a even had a change to choose him, cause I'm almost sure that he would have been the lucky one...

today's the day I got that message and I'd never felt more terrible.. at least, not that I can remember.. I cried in front of my boyfriend, I wanted to throw up and I wanted to die! and I still want to.. cause he hurted me really really bad..

call me crazy, call me brave, I don't care.. if you don't want to read it, then just DON'T!! it's my story and I want to tell it and I don't do that for you, but for myself!

I never thought I could feel like this...

I never thought I would feel so much for a person like I felt for you...

I never thought you would hurt me like this...

You'd better shooten me...

That hurts less...